I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
