He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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