everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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