i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
