I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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