32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
