I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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