i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize