i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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