I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
