so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
