Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my vag is so smooth its legendary
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
