His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
