i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize