...so i touched it.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Randomize
