Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
