I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
