Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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