the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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