Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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