My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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