Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
