I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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