you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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