I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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