And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
