I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
