Its about making memories worth repressing
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize