How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
