I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
