I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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