shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
