So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My penis needs a shock collar
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
