I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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