I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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