this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
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I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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