I think i peed on brittanys purse
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
