Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis

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(410): View more from Maryland

no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina

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(314): View more from Missouri

great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter

(1-314): View more from Missouri

at least I said it was good

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(716): View more from New York

fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old

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(214): View more from Texas

You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp

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(317): View more from Indiana

Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer

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(425): View more from Washington

just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit

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