oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
