i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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