Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
please don't ironically join a cult
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