I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
