I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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