Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
