Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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