I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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