she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
