Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
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I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
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While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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