So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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