all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
