I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
