You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
