let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
