So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize