4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
