I am spending my child support on dildos
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
