is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize