Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
