Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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