There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
