Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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