Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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