if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
